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I tricked my husband into having children…if he finds out, my family could be torn apart.

I tricked my husband into having children…if he finds out, my family could be torn apart.

SHE has two perfect children and a well-paid career, but Helena*, 35, is hiding a big secret from her partner. . .

WATCHING my partner Jack* push our two daughters on a swing, I feel a surge of pride for our brood.

Helena reveals that she tried to get pregnant without her partner knowing

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Helena reveals that she tried to get pregnant without her partner knowingCredit: Alamy
Elena said; 'The truth is that my family was built on lies, since I tricked Jack into being a father'

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Elena said; ‘The truth is that my family was built on lies, since I tricked Jack into being a father’Credit: Getty

With two beautiful daughters and a partner who is a loving father, I finally feel like I have it all.

But just as I begin to settle into that contented happiness, a familiar feeling of dread comes over me.

Because if 35-year-old Jack ever found out my dark secret, our perfect existence together could collapse around me.

The truth is that my family was built on lies, since I tricked Jack into being a father.

I met him on Tinder when we were 24 and family was the furthest thought from my mind.

We had a lot in common: we both had high-level banking careers and worked in the City.

We met for a drink and neither of us wanted anything serious – just a little fling and some dates.

That was how I used to handle relationships.

I had never been with someone for more than a few months.

He didn’t want to be tied down, so I was relieved when, on our first date at a fancy wine bar, he told me how much he loved traveling and that he couldn’t think of anything worse than being tied down with kids.

“I feel exactly the same,” I admitted, and I wasn’t lying.

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I was convinced I would never have a family because I loved my career and disposable income too much.

I went on vacation to faraway places with friends, ate in fancy Michelin-starred restaurants when I wanted, and bought expensive designer clothes.

A few weeks later, I felt like I was falling in love with Jack.

It was beautiful and the sex was great.

But we also spent hours talking.

We had a lot in common and he was very romantic.

When we first got together, I mentioned how much I wanted to visit New York.

“I feigned shock”

The weekend before my 25th birthday, he showed up at my office on Friday night with a suitcase and my passport.

“We’re going to the airport,” he smiled.

He also surprised me with trips to Paris, Rome and Vienna.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” he had told me over dinner, six months into our relationship.

“Me too,” I replied because, although I was initially just looking for an adventure, I felt great about Jack.

We then had a deep conversation about how we took each other seriously, but loved our carefree, luxurious lives.

We talked about all the things we would do together: go to Japan, scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef, travel around the United States for a year.

I decided at that moment to secretly stop taking my pill. Six months later, in May 2021, I became pregnant.

Elena

That life, with Jack, was everything she thought she wanted.

But then, as I approached my 30th birthday, my biological clock started ticking loudly.

Most of my friends were having children and I started to feel like I wanted this life too.

It was a shock.

I didn’t want to be the fun aunt anymore, I wanted to have a child of my own to love.

She would never want to leave Jack, but he had firmly stated that children were not for him.

I thought about talking to him many times, but after psyching myself up, I always suppressed it.

She couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving.

We were soul mates.

Plus, I knew he would be an amazing father.

Several times I thought that if I got pregnant by accident, Jack would surely support me.

One day, when I was 30, looking at my birth control pills, I realized that if I stopped taking them, this could be a reality.

Despite valuing truth and goodness, the internal struggle was less than I thought it would be.

Yes, it was wrong to do this, but the thought of having a baby of my own to love overcame my moral compass.

Even though it went against the trust we shared, I decided at that moment to secretly stop taking my pill.

Six months later, in May 2021, I became pregnant.

I secretly took a test on the day I was missing my period.

I was excited, but I felt a knot of guilt in my stomach.

I was so worried about how Jack would take it that I was terrified to tell him.

I secretly took a test on the day I was missing my period. I was excited, but I felt a knot of guilt in my stomach. I was so worried about how Jack would take it that I was terrified to tell him.

Elena

A week later, after spending two days vomiting, Jack suggested I take a pregnancy test.

I feigned surprise at the idea as he sat with me, holding my hand as we waited for the lines I knew would appear.

He hugged me and I told him I couldn’t face being fired.

“Then we’ll just take on whatever adventures life throws at us,” he said.

He thought I was as surprised as he was and was ready to pretend that I had taken all my pills normally.

In those first months of my pregnancy, he seemed calm and thoughtful, but he always said he was fine.

Three months later, Jack took me on a week-long vacation to Tuscany, Italy.

“We should probably make the most of our last trip for a while,” he said, and I’ve never felt so guilty.

With every wave of morning sickness came a wave of guilt.

Our lives were going to change and Jack had no say.

When our daughter was born in June 2023, after a 12-hour natural birth, and I saw Jack cradling Aurora* in his arms, the guilt faded.

He was instantly a perfect father.

He took care of me while I recovered from painful stitches and jumped out of bed at night whenever our daughter moved.

He adored us both and the guilt subsided almost completely.

We never talked about a second child, but I wanted a brother for our little girl.

Am I selfish?

I couldn’t risk her saying no, when Aurora was six months old I stopped taking my birth control and 18 months later we had another “happy accident”.

Jack said he was thrilled and after a six-hour labor when Amelie* was born, he adored her too.

Jack seemed so happy that it helped alleviate some of the guilt.

Jack said he was thrilled and after a six-hour labor when Amelie* was born, he adored her too. Jack seemed so happy that it helped alleviate some of the guilt.

Elena

He again launched into changing diapers, keeping bath times, and dealing with tantrums.

He says he loves our life together, but he’s never told me he’s glad it happened.

Sometimes I lie in bed wondering what he would think if he knew I deliberately ended the life he loved.

We moved from London to the suburbs and now you have an incredibly long commute.

There are no fancy restaurants or stays in flashy hotels.

We haven’t been abroad for over three years because, although we have good jobs, sky-high childcare fees mean all our extra money goes to the children.

And it worries me: does he secretly envy our perfect family?

But I am gloriously happy, despite the occasional pang of guilt, and I don’t miss our old life.

My daughters’ arms around my neck beat a designer bag any day.

I would never completely rule out doing the same thing again.

Am I selfish?

Or did I give Jack just what he needed?

I think she would love to have a third child, but something in me tells me that one more baby might take her faith in me too far.

I have never shared my secret with anyone.

It’s almost as if, if I didn’t say it out loud, it wouldn’t have happened.

If Jack knew the truth, I couldn’t bear the thought that he would resent me, or worse, our children.

I love him deeply and can’t imagine being with anyone else.

HOW TO OVERCOME THE BIG LIE

LYING to your partner is never a good decision and can cause big trust issues down the road, says relationship expert Kate Taylor.

But have you told a big lie and been caught in the lie?

These are the three things Kate says you should do. . .

  1. UNDERSTAND THE ANGER OF A COUPLE: Once a lie is discovered, your partner will be furious, and rightly so. Don’t try to downplay your actions, as there will be no benefit to you if you rush to sweep things under the rug because you feel ashamed. Instead, give your partner as much time as they need to process what you’ve done.
  2. EXPLAIN YOUR REASONING: Tell your partner why you felt telling the truth wasn’t an option. It won’t undo the lie or make everything okay, but it will help them understand why you felt like you couldn’t be honest.
  3. ADDRESS YOUR PROBLEMS: Lying to your partner is a form of control and control is a form of emotional abuse. If you had presented them with the truth, they could have made their own decision. But the problem was that you didn’t like one of his possible options. If you frequently lie to get your way, you may suffer from low self-esteem or grew up in a strict or cold family that did not encourage your freedom. Talking about it with a counselor may help you.