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Dear Jane: I thought something I did to my son when I was a baby made me a good father. Now I am terrified that he will ruin his adult life

Dear Jane: I thought something I did to my son when I was a baby made me a good father. Now I am terrified that he will ruin his adult life

Dear Jane,

My son has just turned 17 and I am starting to worry a lot about a bad habit he has developed … what I think could be my fault.

When I was a baby, my husband and I had difficulty weaning it. He refused to eat almost all solid foods and would cry until we gave him a bottle of formula or baby milk.

At the age of one, I reluctantly eat simple things like pasta, but rejected vegetables and almost anything too flavor.

Fast progress until today and my son is an extremely borning dining room. Eat cereal for breakfast and nuggets and french fries for any other food, every day.

His concern has always bothered me, but it is not until recently that he has really begun to become a concern.

The mother of her best friend approached me last week with shocking information. My son had called her “disgusting” when he had asked him to stay dinner. On another occasion, he told me, he ordered the most expensive in the menu when they led him to eat because he was “annoying” that the restaurant they chose had nothing he wanted.

My son’s behavior is very rude and I am extremely ashamed. If you are acting like this about your best friend’s family, I fear to think about how she behaves at school and other social environments.

Dear Jane: I thought something I did to my son when I was a baby made me a good father. Now I am terrified that he will ruin his adult life

Dear Jane: I thought something I did to my son when I was a baby made me a good father. Now I am terrified that he ruins his adult life.

I feel like a terrible father. I am so annoying with myself for allowing him to be so borning in his childhood.

I also worry that his lack of will to eat anything outside his close comfort zone will prevent him from dating girls, going to dinner with friends and traveling to other countries with different kitchens.

How can I encourage him to expand his diet and tell him to stop being so rude when I fear that everything is the fault in the first place?

Of,

Farming up

The best -selling international author, Jane Green, offers a wise advice on the hottest problems of readers in her aunt Aguon

The best -selling international author, Jane Green, offers a wise advice on the hottest problems of readers in her aunt Aguon

Dear parenting,

We often do not realize the mistakes we have made until it is too late. And every father (including myself) regrets.

But, perhaps, you are focused on the wrong subject. The concern here is not what your child will eat and will not eat, although I have concerns for your health if you only consume chicken nuggets, cereals and fries, but its manners.

Unfortunately, I hope other parents, today, will relate to this problem.

Every time I am out of a restaurant, it seems that I see children running, shouting and running with the chairs of other guests. Meanwhile, their parents behave as if nothing was common and completely ignore chaos.

And if the parents bother them enough to ‘father’, they often point an iPad in front of their young and preteen children and allow them to see Scary shows in complete explosion, forcing everyone else in the room to listen.

Since when did moms and parents forgot that it is his work to teach his Children How to behave in public?

In your case, it is more important to address rudeness. However, at age 17, it may be a challenge to make your child listen … at least, initially.

That said, you has to Talk to him about this behavior. And while you may not change anything in the short term, their words (even if they seem to fall into deaf ears now) will sound as it ages. Especially, if you begin to suffer the consequences of its rudeness (lack of dinner invitations and, I dare to say, dates).

It is never too late to learn. That goes for a 17 -year -old as well as a 71 -year -old.

Your work as parents is far from finishing, put work!

Dear Jane,

I think my neighbor is taking advantage of me.

I have been a friend of my male neighbor for eight years, since he first moved on the side. I was married at that time, so our friendship was purely Platonic to begin with.

Then, about a year ago, my marriage collapsed and my neighbor pounced to support me. I thought things could be rescued, but my neighbor implored me to get a lawyer and divorce my husband as quickly as possible, so I did. After that, my relationship with this neighbor quickly became romantic.

At first, everything was fine. We spent a lot of time together and I felt that things were becoming serious. But when my divorce was officially finished a few months ago, it began to blow heat and cold. A minute, he brought me gifts and begged me to meet his mother. The next, he would ignore me for days.

Things reached a critical point yesterday when I saw their ex -girlfriend appear at home. He feels so wounded and abandoned. It seems so clear to me that now they have played and lied. However, I have no right to feel that way, because we have never defined our relationship, so technically is not deceiving me.

I’m afraid he took me out of my marriage to be able to have me for himself, but now that I am vulnerable and alone, he knows that he can treat me badly and go out with his.

I can’t escape him because he is my neighbor, and a part of me does not want to do it because when things are good among us, they are really good!

Where do I go from here?

Of,

Neighboring support

Jane Sunday service

It is a general truism in life that most people will treat us as bad as we allow.

Deciding what we expect from our partners and getting away if they cannot meet our needs, it is the most difficult.

But it is key to finding peace.

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Dear neighboring support.

It seems that, without knowing it, it has not been found in a relationship, but in a situation, and also, one that does not serve him.

I understand how vulnerable you are. Leaving a marriage is overwhelming often scary. Having someone close to feel less can only be a comfort.

But your neighbor may have taken advantage of you when you were in a sensitive space. However, months have passed and you are still sleeping with him and letting him have a place in your life, without being clear about your needs.

The sad thing about most relationships is that people will treat us as badly as we allow them, and depend on us to defend ourselves.

I want you to imagine in a healthy relationship and imagine how that could feel and see.

Imagine being involved with someone who calls when he says he will call, who is supportive, affectionate and openly affectionate. Think about being with someone honest, which makes you feel loved and appreciated.

It feels good, right?

What does not feel good is the situation in which it is now. But this neighbor is only coming out with his with bad behavior because you are allowing it.

You must make a decision here. If you want to have a relationship with him instead of a situation, tell him and ask him if he is willing to work on you. If you decide that you have ended with him, break things.

The fact that he is his neighbor can make it a bit uncomfortable for a while, but he can handle this mature and without emotion.

The way to obtain the type of relationship you want is to be honest about your needs and drop people who are not fulfilling them. You know you deserve more. Do not support anything less.